Update: The Sister that Existed....But Didn't

My cousin Heather and my cousin Warren and I keep bouncing back and forth. Is the photograph Arlene and the missing sister Jean OR is it really my Aunt Flo and my Aunt Hattie? I can't believe that my Great Grandmother would have a photograph taken of just them when she also had Aunt Maddie. I keep dreaming of the girl with big brown eyes, I feel like she is trying to tell us who she is but with so little information and stories that were taken to their graves, how do we find her out? I have asked a friend in New York to do some research on the Photographer that took the photograph. If we can pinpoint when the Photographer was in business, we should be able to figure out if it's Arlene and Jean or Flo and Hattie.......OY!

A Sister that Existed....but Didn't

Take a look at this photograph, what is your first thought? Two sisters, sitting side by side, having their portrait taken for their parent's? Cousins or even friends perhaps? It is more likely the first, sisters, one with what could be soft hazel eyes, one with piercingly dark, brown eyes. Both dressed the same, hair the same, they look different but very similar. My cousin Heather has had this picture out in her home for years, not quite sure as too who the younger girl is but always believing that the older child (on the right of the photograph as you are looking at it) was her Grandmother (my cousin Arlene). While researching our Hess Family history, I came across the 1930 Federal Census for Heather's Great Grandparents (her Great Grandmother is my Great Aunt). The names match, the profession of the man match the profession of her Great Grandfather. The name of their daughter (her Grandmother) matches and yet there was a shocking surprise. Underneath her Grandmother Arlene's name, another child, a daughter aged 6 is listed. How could this be? How could they have had a child that NO ONE living knows about? And yet there it is in black and white. Jean Loeb, aged 6, born about 1924 (probably 1923). I spoke with Heather on the phone and she had me pull up this photograph. This photograph of two beautiful little girls, this photograph that is the only image we have of the younger child. How can it be a possibility that our family never spoke of her? The reality is between 1930 when the census was taken and 1942 when my Great Grandmother (Heather's Great Great Grandmother) passed away that this little girl disappeared? I cannot tell you how excited I am that the 1940 census drops in 15 days because I am hoping that I will be able to have an answer for her. What happened to little Jean? Was she institutionalized, did she pass away as a young girl? All we know is that in the 1942 obituary for my Great Grandmother Matilda, my Aunt and Heather's Grandmother are mentioned as Matilda's grandchildren....but Jean is not. Is this because she passed away or was she a dirty little secret of the family that no one talked about? Heather and I both feel that we are Jean's voice, that whatever happened to her, we must find out, we must tell her story and we must honor her existence. As a mother, I cannot imagine having a child and then never speaking of them. I cannot imagine being gone from this world and having no one know that I was ever even here. I am putting some of my other research aside so that I might spend more time trying to find our Jean.....our Jean....that is what she is, she is ours. My cousin, Warren's Aunt, Heather's Great Aunt. We will find her and we will honor her.....she has been forgotten for too long.

Cheers!

Sammee

Rough Night

I tossed and turned all night, restless with dreams of my Great Grandparents. I am overwhelmed, I feel like they don't want me to know anything about my family. I am thrilled to have found their marriage record last night but instead of bringing me peace, it leaves me with more questions. To find any records about my Great Great Grandparents named in the marriadhe record, I have to search German records which aren't that great. How do I even do that? It looks like I am going to have to physically go to the Family Research Library, I am hoping that there is a sweet little volunteer man or woman who will take pity on me. Someone who lives to unlock family mysteries and will volunteer to help me with my research.
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Great Great Grandmother and Grandfather on Paternal Grandfather's Side

This evening, right as I was about to shoot my computer in frustration with Ancestry.com....I came across the marriage record of my Great Grandfather and Grandmother (my Grandfather's parents). Oddly enough I did not find the information on Ancestry, instead I found it on FamilySearch.com. Not only did it give me the date they were married, but I now have my Great Grandfather's Father's name and my Great Grandmother's Mothers name. Now, this also opens up more questions like 1. Why is Great Grandpa's Mother not named and Great Grandma's Father not named. 2. While knowing they were married in New York in 1892 is great, why can't I find any record of them individually in 1892 in New York since both of them arrived prior to that? I am giving up for the night, I am going to take my little piece of research success, hold it tight and have sweet dreams. At least I can now give my Mom, Aunt, Cousin and his daughter names that no one in the family had ever known.

Cheers!

Spears Side Update 2

Bio-Dad got more info from his cousins. Apparently my Great Grandfather John Walter was full blooded Cherokee and my Great Grandmother Lula Goines was full blooded Chickasaw. BOTH of them lived on reservations (or whatever they were called at the time) and were moved from North Tennessee sometime in the late 1800's. I can't wait until the photographs they are sending him finally get there, I so want to see what they look like. Do any of us resemble them? I can't wait!

Update 03/09/2012
Bio Dad gave me bad info. Spoke with his cousin who has the family history and it is Iriquois and Chickasaw Indian. Either way, it is going to be a long road in trying to find any records of my Great Great Grandparents on my paternal Grandfathers side.

Spears Side Update

Woke up to an email from my bio-dad that he contacted some cousins (I didn't know he kept in touch with ANYONE aside from his brothers) who were going to be sending him photographs of his Father, Aunts and Uncles. I am completely blown away, I can't believe I am going to see a picture of my Grandfather for the first time. I am excited and a tad bit trepedatious, yet hopefully, these images will help unlock the secrets I have been trying to find out.

I'm So Frustrated

That's it! It's time to call in a professional. I am at a loss, I can't find ANYONE on my Grandfather's side or my biological father's side or my Grandmother's side.. I keep hitting that damned wall again and I am at the point where I cry when I think about genealogy. Now if I can only find someone down for the challenge and who is affordable. I live in Utah, the mecca for genealogy, you'd think folks would be affordable, um, nope. :/