Update: The Sister that Existed....But Didn't

My cousin Heather and my cousin Warren and I keep bouncing back and forth. Is the photograph Arlene and the missing sister Jean OR is it really my Aunt Flo and my Aunt Hattie? I can't believe that my Great Grandmother would have a photograph taken of just them when she also had Aunt Maddie. I keep dreaming of the girl with big brown eyes, I feel like she is trying to tell us who she is but with so little information and stories that were taken to their graves, how do we find her out? I have asked a friend in New York to do some research on the Photographer that took the photograph. If we can pinpoint when the Photographer was in business, we should be able to figure out if it's Arlene and Jean or Flo and Hattie.......OY!

A Sister that Existed....but Didn't

Take a look at this photograph, what is your first thought? Two sisters, sitting side by side, having their portrait taken for their parent's? Cousins or even friends perhaps? It is more likely the first, sisters, one with what could be soft hazel eyes, one with piercingly dark, brown eyes. Both dressed the same, hair the same, they look different but very similar. My cousin Heather has had this picture out in her home for years, not quite sure as too who the younger girl is but always believing that the older child (on the right of the photograph as you are looking at it) was her Grandmother (my cousin Arlene). While researching our Hess Family history, I came across the 1930 Federal Census for Heather's Great Grandparents (her Great Grandmother is my Great Aunt). The names match, the profession of the man match the profession of her Great Grandfather. The name of their daughter (her Grandmother) matches and yet there was a shocking surprise. Underneath her Grandmother Arlene's name, another child, a daughter aged 6 is listed. How could this be? How could they have had a child that NO ONE living knows about? And yet there it is in black and white. Jean Loeb, aged 6, born about 1924 (probably 1923). I spoke with Heather on the phone and she had me pull up this photograph. This photograph of two beautiful little girls, this photograph that is the only image we have of the younger child. How can it be a possibility that our family never spoke of her? The reality is between 1930 when the census was taken and 1942 when my Great Grandmother (Heather's Great Great Grandmother) passed away that this little girl disappeared? I cannot tell you how excited I am that the 1940 census drops in 15 days because I am hoping that I will be able to have an answer for her. What happened to little Jean? Was she institutionalized, did she pass away as a young girl? All we know is that in the 1942 obituary for my Great Grandmother Matilda, my Aunt and Heather's Grandmother are mentioned as Matilda's grandchildren....but Jean is not. Is this because she passed away or was she a dirty little secret of the family that no one talked about? Heather and I both feel that we are Jean's voice, that whatever happened to her, we must find out, we must tell her story and we must honor her existence. As a mother, I cannot imagine having a child and then never speaking of them. I cannot imagine being gone from this world and having no one know that I was ever even here. I am putting some of my other research aside so that I might spend more time trying to find our Jean.....our Jean....that is what she is, she is ours. My cousin, Warren's Aunt, Heather's Great Aunt. We will find her and we will honor her.....she has been forgotten for too long.

Cheers!

Sammee

Home Alone

Boy did I step in this time, let me explain. My daughter is home sick with a fever, her teacher from last year (who has become a good friend) posted on Facebook to just leave her home. I responded with a statement saying that where I live, no child under the age of 12 is allowed to be home alone. I honestly thought the state had this law on the books. I was wrong, therefor let me apologize for mistaking the age a child is allowed to babysit with the age a child is allowed to be home alone.

Below is a direct quote from an article about Latchkey Kid Age Limits:

(you can find the article here: http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm)

At what age can a child be legally left at home alone? See the chart below.

The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left at home alone.

However, consider a child's age and maturity level. For example, if a child is extremely impulsive, it might be best to wait until he or she is older than 12.

There appear to be very few states with specific regulations about the age of a child left at home alone. However, since the number of latchkey kids is growing significantly due to 2 income parents and single parents and guardians, there is a growing movement within state agencies to set guidelines.

Lynn Yaney, spokeswoman for the agency that handles child welfare in Contra Costa County, California, states:

"A general rule of thumb is that kids under age seven aren't capable of thinking logically and putting cause and effect together," Tanner said. "They are reliant on caregivers to structure their day." Children between ages 7 and 10 years aren't generally ready to self-supervise for an extended period, but in a routine and predictable environment, such as just after school, they can manage, Tanner said. Children 12 and 13 years old should be judged on a case- by-case basis but should not be left alone overnight.

My friends may not agree with me but I do not believe a child under the age of 12 should be home alone, ESPECIALLY when they have a fever. What if I am at work and her fever spikes, is she going to be smart enough to call me? I know when I feel like crap or have a high fever, the last thing I am doing is getting on the phone to call someone. What it comes down to in MY family is I don't trust my kids as far as I can throw them and I shouldn't have too. They are only 11 and 8, there should be no trust there whatsoever yet because they are still at the age of "Do something now that causes a big problem and then realize later that they screwed up and are going to get in trouble".

Let me clarify something, I trust my kids to take out the garbage, put their laundry in the hamper, let the dog out to go to the bathroom....but they still have trouble managing these simple things. So it is very hard for me to even begin to think about letting her be in the home alone without an adult. I have 8 months before my daughter turns 12, at this time I "hope" to have had several successful attempts at leaving her home alone for maybe half an hour possibly an hour, but that is still many months down the road. Am I wrong, am I just an overprotective mother who because of her past refuses to let go? Or am I a mom who realizes the dangers posed to our children by child predators and just wants to make sure that her kids are armed with all the information they need before they are left on their own.

Weigh in on the "Home Alone" debate and post your thoughts below.

(Remember this is a safe forum and all discriminatory or rude comments will be removed.)

Cheers!

ACOCAACN